I've heard such horrible stories about how families and friends behave after someone dies. While I don't think my family would stoop to such levels:), I decided to create a will to make it easier for all involved. I also know that if you die without a will or trust, your estate is distributed according to the laws of the state in which you live. In addition, if there are no relatives under the state's intestate laws, your property goes to the state! Why would I want the state to determine who gets my stuff?! If you don't have a will, that's exactly what you are doing–letting the state make decisions for you.
The main reasons to have a will and or trust (we have both) are to identify who should inherit your property after you die and to name a guardian for minor children. Deciding who would receive property was easy for us, but the difficult part was determining who would care for our kids! I spoke to 10 moms yesterday and only one had a will, trust or both. Most of them seemed to struggle with one question: who gets the kids? My take on that question is that there will never be a perfect person–let's face it, no one will raise your children like you! But, the truth is that you have to name someone! Do you want the state to determine who gets your kids? You can always update your choices later, but for now, you simply have to stop everything and name someone!
My husband and I had to consider a lot of factors when determining who would care for our kids:
Who would care for them as we would want?
Who would expose them to world travel?
Who would protect our girls and keep them safe from abuse?
Who would continue to educate them as we have?
Who would least interrupt their way of life?
Who would commit to getting them to their extracurricular activities?
Who would encourage a love for the arts?
Who would encourage a love for languages?
Who would be patient, loving and kind?
Who would make them feel proud and confident about who they are?
Who would be firm, yet loving?
Who would be physically able to care for them?
Who would provide a safe home, free from outside influences?
Who would treat them all the same and encourage each girl to be her own person?
Who would encourage the girls to support each other and not compete with each other?
Who would bring them up in church?
Who would be best equipped to handle the girls' finances responsibly?
Who would impress upon them the value of good credit?
Who would encourage a life of service to others?
These are all questions we had to think about. I certainly hope this gets you off to a good start in thinking about who would care for your kids and preparing to draft your will and/or trust!
Again, I prefer to use a local attorney, but if you have a pretty good understanding of legal documents, here's a site that can help you create these docs for free, if you use the one-week unlimited access trial subscription!!
http://www.retirehappyblog.com/2009/04/do-you-need-a-will-or-a-living.html
2 comments:
Hi Erica, I love these posts. Although, I've only skimmed thru a couple of them, they have really touched my mind and heart.....especially this one. There is a family fighting over my nephews right now and trying to take them from my brother (their dad) because their mom died last year and their grandmother has become mentally ill. It really makes you think. No one knows the time of their death and people think they have plenty of time to get affairs in order. Regardless of who's the next of kin, there's always a fight when a child has their name on a check. The questions to ponder are sooo on point (but of course they would be coming from an attorney..:-) ) Thank you for sharing this journey with us.
Hey Erica, Arquilla here!. I'm taking your blog post and links to start the conversation with the hubby. Thanks for sharing.
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