Day Two, I decided to live..

Roses?  I can't tell you the last time I've taken time to smell any roses.  Heck, I barely remember what they look like.  As I grow up and grow wiser, I envy my Grandmother's life.  I remember when she would sit on the end of the couch, in her special spot and do crossword puzzles...for hours and hours.  She'd do the laundry and somehow our dirty little whites would sparkle brighter than they had when they were bought...and she'd walk around to the back of the house and hang every single piece on the line to dry.  She knew just about how long it would take for them to dry and she never seemed to rush anything.  She'd come back in and prepare the beans for pinto beans, cut up her onions one by one and make the best buttermilk cornbread you've ever tasted...and she'd call us in for dinner.  We were so happy...so calm...so peaceful...and if we managed to stay out of trouble during the day, the next morning after my father would drop us off, we'd get to watch "Big Valley" on TV with Mama...and she would always prepare the best breakfast!  We'd eat breakfast and watch "Big Valley!"


I'm fortunate to say that I can't remember a single day in my childhood when I didn't have a hot meal...we'd run home from school, wondering what my mother had manged to cook up that day.  My Grandma's habits passed to my mom...and I continued to experience Grandma's love and warmth through my mom.    My mom made the best vegetable soup and chicken and dumplings and I just loved when she made fried chicken and spaghetti!  Those were the days, I tell you.  All I had to think about in life was doing my schoolwork and playing kickball or softball in the backyard.


Don't get me wrong as I talk about my Grandma.   She knew how to handle a switch too, if you know what I mean!  We certainly knew our places as kids and rarely dared to cross the line...and when we did, my Grandma would send us after our own switch.  I can't remember many times when I actually returned with a switch, though.  We always thought they if we stayed out long enough to play, that she would forget that we had misbehaved.  Now, as I've gotten older, I realize that she never planned to spank us.  Grandma's plan was to get us to go outside, so that she could have some time for herself, without us havoc-wreakers bothering her.  She needed her time...as do I....as does any mom...

As mothers, we spend so much time caring for our kids, our familes and our friends that we begin to lose sight of who we are.  What I am learning is that the best gift that I can give to any of them is a rested, relaxed and peaceful "Me."  The way that our lives have turned into a mad rush can be quite disheartening if you really take time to think about it.  From the time we get up in the morning to the time we go to bed, it's one mad rush!  "Hurry up, you can't miss the school bus!  Did you remember your snack--do you have your leotard--what about your piano books--how'd you leave your book at school--did you finish your kumon, academics are the most important thing  in this house!--we'll stop for dinner--clean your room!--doesn't make sense how this room looks--did you eat all your food?--did you brush your teeth--what about flossing?--you don't want to get cavities, do you?--Did you take a shower?  Okay...Get some sleep, you have an 8:00 appointment in the morning and we've got to get up early enough to walk the dog.--Good night--I love you." 



Yesterday, as I reflected on the rush of our day, I thought long and hard about what we could change...how we could make our lives simpler.  I hate to deprive my three girls of the peace I had as a child.  I know my Grandma's looking down, waving her wand for me to slow down.  I realize it and promise that I will do better.  It also came to me last night that my Grandma had things that she did that were just for her, a ritual that gave her inner peace and the ability to handle us with kindness and compassion.  For my Grandma, it was reading "Daily Word."  She read that little book every single day and did her crossword puzzles too:)  She seemed to get such joy from such simple things.


What is that thing for me?  What makes me calm?  What makes me happy?  I thought for a while and it didn't take me long to figure out--3 things:  writing, tea or a glass of wine and massages. 

If you've never had your back go out, pray that you never do!  I can remember the first time my back went out.  It was almost eight years ago, just after I had my second daughter.  Sammy Sosa (any Cubs fans out there?)  had just "thrown his back out" and claimed that a sneeze had done it.  I made fun of him, saying that he had done something that he wasn't supposed to and just didn't want to say it on national TV.  It made no sense to me.  The very next day, I was changing my daughter's diaper and sneezed...and literally could not get back up!  I had never experienced such pain in my life, for about a week.  I couldn't do anything for myself; I even needed help putting on my clothes!  What a horrible feeling.  All I could remember were Mama's words that "God don't like ugly!"  I vowed to think twice before I decided to make fun of Sammy Sosa or anyone else again for that matter.

All of this to say...yesterday, I decided to take time for me.  A few years ago, I bought a massage bed after having some backaches and used it for all of a week.  It's been sitting in the guest room in the basement folded and tucked away for years.  Last night, my 11 year old help me bring it up to my bedroom, clean it up and get it ready for a nice massage from my husband.  Of course, my quick-wit seven year old comes in and says, "You guys are gonna have a good night, tonight!"  Really, where does she get this from?  I told her that she was right.  Mommy was going to take a long shower without anyone bursting through the door with their emergency needs; that daddy was going to give me a massage--and that I was going to sleep well...and so I did!   I woke up to the end of my massage and my husband helping me to bed because I had fallen asleep.  I slept so well and dreamed about what I would write this morning.  What a good night.  What a great morning!  I am relaxed and writing and have brought my 9 month old from her bed into the bed next to me.  Something startled her.  She is peacefully sleeping now.  My two older girls are still sleeping.  I will not wake them early today.  I will let them rest.  I am headed to make breakfast.  Maybe we can even find "Big Valley" on TV:)  Looking forward to DAY THREE!  Any suggestions?