I was talking to a friend a couple of days ago, who had just experienced this situation. She described her acquaintance as "one of these people" who use information that you have provided–to her benefit–and doesn't even bother to tell you that she used the information with success...This feels juvenile to write about, but I wanted to discuss it because I know that I have experienced it as well and that it is an issue for a lot of women.
I have always been the kind of person that shares just about everything. Whenever I come across something good, I share it with my friends. Some of my loved ones think that I do it to a fault, but my philosophy has always been that it doesn't take anything away from me–what is for me, is for me! Perhaps I have been a bit naive, I'm not sure...but as I grow older, I realize that things get more complicated...As mothers, we not only have to look out for ourselves, but also our children. Do we teach them that there's nothing bad about sharing information...or do we potentially risk putting our kids in uncomfortable situations.
My Girls, for example, are the kind of kids who put their hearts into the things that they love to do. My oldest loves art and gymnastics and spends quite a bit of time at it! My middle one loves acting and gymnastics and can't get enough of either, as well...so yesterday, we decided to spend quality time together since the girls both had the morning free. We had a great day! We were headed to the State Fair and made a stop at a friend's house and ended up spending almost three hours there! The kids were so excited to have time to spend with friends. Afterwards, we went to lunch and talked about a lot of things...and some of our conversation centered around this very subject--the subject of today's blog!
I left the conversation feeling like I needed to be more protective of them...They expressed to me that they don't like when I share some things and of course, I asked why. Their response was that it depends on the kid. My middle daughter, put it nicely--"who wants to show up to an event or activity that they are excited about and have to deal with a mean, annoying kid?" My response..."Good point." She had another good point. "Why don't people ever share information with us?"
I'd love to know your opinion about this situation. How much do we share? How much is too much? How do you handle friends or acquaintances like this? Please post directly to the blog and be honest:)
Here's a neat little video of some pictures of the girls, some are older, but most of them were taken --you guessed it--ON DAY NINE!
Looking Forward to Day Ten!
8 comments:
It's funny that this is the subject of today's blog. I am experiencing this very same thing but in a different way. Kinda like you, when I am in relationship with someone, be it a friendship or an intimate one, I put my heart into it and share things to a fault. Well, now a life change has left me wanting and needing to keep some things to myself and it is not going over well with the "friends" at all. I haven't yet had this experience with my son. But it's nice to know that I am not alone.
In the interest of protecting your girls, I agree with your middle daughter. Yet, on the other hand, I like to share positive information that helps to uplift, support, encourage, enhance, etc. If I share some information with my girlfriends and it helps them, it makes me happy.
Yes, this is a tough one...I like to share as well...but am learning like the comment above that it may not be such a bad thing to "keep some things to myself..."
I'm also a sharer. But I've learned, the hard way, that some good things need silence and darkness to develop fully before they see the light of day. So that they can withstand the "stress" and potential "pull" of being shared. I say trust your intuition. Share generalities, share when u know there's a definite need. Always consider the audience. Some people cannot handle certain types of info without clowning.
Thanks for posting this. I have just let go of a "frienemy' who actually turned out to be a friend stealer! At 49 years old, I am shocked that I have had to deal with this. But low and behold, I have learned the hard way not to share everything. I introduced this person to another friend of 30 years. They began to have what I would call a secret friendship without me. It's very odd, but not so uncommon from what I hear. I am now sharing very little, but most importantly, turning to God for direction and wisdom even in these situations that seem trivial, but really are not.
I'm a sharer but once I find out that someone is trying to take advantage of that fact it is very easy for me to put them in the 'keep at arms length' group. I'm also really good at emotional detachment. Probably not anything to brag about but its protected me over the years. On another note - your girls are ADORABLE, ADORABLE, ADORABLE!
Thanks for posting this Erick. I am also someone that shares all sorts of information. I'm pretty resourceful & and I enjoy sharing any helpful information to all...friends, collegues, not so friendly people. I do it to benefit others and some people have warned me to keep information to myself so that I'm the only one to benefit or to protect myself from "haters". I thought about that advice and realized that it's better to be a blessing to others and to pray for god's protection over yourself and your family. I enjoy being a blessing because God has blessed me with knowledge and information that has helped me and my girls to benefit socially, financially, & spiritually and I want to share those blessings. What if Jesus only gave out blessings to be people he "TRUSTED" and didn't have faith in his heavenly father. I have faith in God's will...so I say keep sharing. Keep being a blessing to others and pray that they use the information for GOOD! Thanks again for the Blog it's a wonderful BLESSING :).
Tara Byndom
Fellow PSM Gradute Class of 88
Hey Girl, I appreciate the fact that you are an open book to your friends. Perhaps people don't give back b/c they don't know how. Maybe they're not really being selfish, but they may think that they don't have anything to offer you b/c you're fabulous and they don't feel the same way about themselves and their own resources. It's part of your spirit to share and give. It's part of your ministry. I like ya that way! :) Love ya, DeShong
Post a Comment