Well, I was faced with a similar situation–how to resolve disputes between my two oldest girls. I can mediate all day, the most complicated of legal disputes, but when it comes to mediating with my girls....well, that's another story! The truth is that I don't WANT to mediate with them! I shouldn't have to! I made the decision today that I AM NOT going to solve their disputes! If I've been mediating all day, the last thing that I want to do is come home to a fight with anyone. Thank God that my husband is not a "fighter." He likes peace. He likes seeing me happy and he will do anything in his power to keep our house calm--even cleaning the kitchen(which he happens to be wayyyyy better at than me:)
My two older girls, on the other hand, are going through A THING!" My 11-year-old is approaching the teenage years and my eight-year-old..............let's just say she's approaching adulthood these days. I sometimes think that her goal each day is to find another creative, very creative way to annoy her big sister and her big sister's goal is to show her that she's the big sister! I hear from my mom that I was once that annoying little sister– I guess that means that there is hope for her!:)
So here was the dilemma of the day! My car, which has three rows, is great for the family. It's nice and spacious and helps eliminate conflict by allowing both girls to sit on a separate row. The problem came in when I had a bit of an accident with my car, which landed it in the shop. I had to get a rental and all they had was a small Jeep...which means both girls–in fact, all three girls had to sit on the same row! I picked them up from school and 10 minutes into the drive, I see pinching and shoving through the rear view mirror. It was getting pretty bad and I just wasn't in the mood. My husband has been traveling all week and I'd been on duty 24 hours a day, all week! Did I mention that it was the first week of school?
When it got to the point, where tears were falling, I was at my breaking point! I'm not a huge fan of spanking and as I mentioned, not a huge fan of mediating in my own family! So, what did I do? I calmly pulled into a random subdivision, unlocked the door and told then to get out of the car! My oldest is 11 and my middle one is eight--so the total of their ages sounded like a great amount of time for them to work out the dispute! I parked next to them and told them to stay on the sidewalk where I could see them and not to come near the grass that separated the street from the sidewalk. I turned to a rhythm and blues satellite station - I mean a real down-home blues station, reclined the seat and had a great 19 minutes of peace!
Take a look at the pictures below. Although they initially didn't face each other at all, I noticed as the minutes went by, they moved closer and closer to each other. When the 19 minutes were over, they were laughing and joking and talking about how crazy I looked sitting in the car! I gladly took the jokes! They were happy and resolved this dispute on their own–well, almost on their own!
THE END...FOR NOW!
Looking forward to Day 20! Day 20 will be all about my journey to get back in shape!
6 comments:
Love it. LOL. I'm using this mediation technique when baby #2 and love note decided they want to argue and pinch each other!
Thank God you don't have to worry about that with Codi!
LOVE your solution! What a brilliant idea. Love it.
Omg...I am still laughing. I have a 12 years and almost 8 years...and I never question why they insist on riding in separate rows (2nd and 3rd)...but I will have to show my girls pics of yours "resolving" their disagreement....excellent idea!!!!!!
Love the creative approach. Think that will work when they are in my car going crazy? It's all karma. I annoyed my baby sister as a kid and now its payback time.
Love this!! What a great idea. It reminds me of a book I won in a drawing a while ago, called "Siblings Without Rivalry". I wasn't sure I was ever going to need it, but now I sure will have to read it thoroughly :)
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