Days 72-74, Is it okay to be a bad girl?!

The plaque that sits above our family desk–Yet another reminder to be kind.

Yes, I am guilty!  I am always telling my girls to be "nice."  As I grow older,  I wonder if this constant push to be nice, humble and respectful could be preventing our girls from being the assertive women that we would like them to grow up to be.  Every time I see another suicide story, this question haunts me:  Are we teaching our girls to be too nice?

I've always been taught to be a "good girl" and if I must say so myself, I've always been pretty darn good at it!  I don't know any other way.  In fact, I don't think I've done many bad things in my life at all.  It's no wonder that I have always thought that girls should be raised with grace and kindness; gentleness and patience; and love and affection.  At different stages in my own girls' lives, I find myself telling them to be nice, to follow the rules, to be obedient and respectful– and to just be a good person.  I am finding, however, that I may just need to adjust my approach...

What has me thinking this way?!  Mean girls!  They are popping up all over the place!  When I was growing up, there were one or two girls who were bullies or "ring leaders."  You typically dealt with their drama and was able to go home and not have to think about it until the next day.  Well, times have changed!  With instant messaging, text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, iChat, Skype–to name a few– the harassment and bullying never stop for some kids.  As I am around more and more girls, I am seriously concerned that a lot of us mothers are getting it all wrong!  I think that we need to arm our girls with more than just the "nice card."

So, today I'm making a turn..."Sure, be nice, but be confident!  Speak your mind.  Be Strong.  Be You!  Don't allow the mean girls to determine your self-worth.  Don't allow anyone to determine your value! 


I read a note my eight-year-old daughter had written in her journal...It inspired me to write this post.  I hope you enjoy her note and the post!

My 8-year-old's note inspired me to write this post...